The Knack to Let Go! – How to forgive?

Compassion and forgiveness is usually well-regarded as an epitome, valued like "love" or "freedom." But, as with all supercilious concepts, making forgiveness occur in our own lives is another matter. Forgiveness can actually bring inner peace.

There is no set path for the process of letting go. But here are some steps to help you on your journey.

Six steps to forgiveness (based on Dr. Luskin's work)

1. Identify exactly how you feel about what happened and prepare to coherent what about the issue is not acceptable. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience. Speaking it out makes it solid and therefore easier to deal with. It also helps release bottled up feelings of pain, anger and disappointment.

2. Remember that forgiveness is an act of will. This act is more for us to free ourselves than for any other reason.

3. Gain Insight: Recognize that the primary agony is coming from feelings, thoughts and physical disturbances you are suffering now. Forgiveness helps heal those hurt feelings; it does not undo the incident.

4. Practice Stress Management and Relaxation Techniques when those emotions come back. This will calm the body's physiological response to the feelings.

5. Identify and assess the unspoken "rules" that you may have. Every so often these rules govern how one acts, and determines reactions to peripheral situations.

There is no surety that things and people will behave the way one wants them to, and that one's expectations will be met. Identifying and letting go of these rules is not an easy task, but it is imperative not only for healing from past pains, but also to prevent future disappointments.

6. Painful incidents stay alive in our memory and continue to hurt us. Take a trusted friend or counselor into confidence and collaborate to work through the tricky areas. The feelings of hurt and pain may not go away instantly, but with constant effort and a positive outlook, the choice to forgive provides emancipation from a past that prevents us from looking ahead.

Try these and let me know if it worked for you!