We live in a world affected with pressure of all kinds; be it from work, relationships, deadlines and even traffic! By virtue of being human we are also vulnerable to various sicknesses but dealing with long term or chronic illness is definitely not very easy. People's boundaries are often pushed, and it is easy to lose one's sense of perspective at such times. Whether you are the one going through the illness or it is your loved one, there are ways in which we can make it easier for ourselves to navigate through this difficult period.
We could start with trying to understand the gamut of emotions that are likely to wash over you when you discover that you are ill and that it is going to be a long journey back to good health. There is the initial shock of course with the 'why me?' questions that really have no answers. Fear, denial and anger are some of the other emotions that take over next. Some people go through a bargaining phase as well where they try to strike a deal with God or go through the 'if only' scenarios. And when the reality of your condition hits you, there is the inevitable feeling of hopelessness and depression. Once you have gone through the grieving process, there comes acceptance of what it is and re-evaluation of your lifestyle. This is not the same as resignation but the wisdom to realize that your life will be different, a new normal, so to speak. The grieving process may not be the same for everyone, but these are just some of the common emotions that one experiences.
Here are some pointers that might help you deal with your illness as effectively as possible.
Knowledge is power - get all the factual information about your condition from doctors and others with a similar illness. You could also read about it. A word of caution about what is available on the internet - not all information available here is accurate, so don't take it literally. Always check with you doctor.
Select your doctor with care - it is natural to feel confused about the course of treatment, doctors etc. But it is important that you are comfortable with your doctor and trust him or her implicitly, especially if it is a long haul. You can listen to others' opinions, but you are the best judge. And it would help if your doctor is easily accessible to answer your queries.
Find de-stress techniques that work for you - since our body is bound to be on stress mode for a long time during the illness, it is important to practice a few de-stressing techniques to switch off the 'fight or flight' response. This could be something as simple as deep breathing a few times a day; which though sounds overtly simple, is powerful. You could also practice meditation or listen to relaxation tapes or music.
Support group - connect with others experiencing similar problems and join a support group if possible. The benefits are enormous, for sometimes you might get the best tips from them. It would also help you to feel less isolated and the sharing can empower you in more ways than you can imagine.
Try Journaling - writing a journal can be a great way for catharsis, processing your own feelings/thoughts and gaining clarity about your life.
Read inspiring books - there are plenty of books available about people who have overcome serious illnesses and live a healthy life. For instance, 7 time Tour de France winner, cycling legend Lance Armstrong's book 'It's not about my Bike: My journey back to Life' that talks about his remarkable courage and how he overcame cancer to compete again. Or, Dr. Bernie Siegel's books - 'Peace, Love & Healing' or 'Love, Medicine & Miracles' that explore the body-mind connections and the role it plays in illness and healing.
Visualizations are powerful - have a friend do it for you or use tapes to visualize yourself getting better and healthy. Sticking little post-it notes with affirmations that you are able to relate to make a lot of difference in how you feel. Something like "This too shall pass", or "One day at a time" or "I am in perfect health" or anything else in your own words that is in the present tense and feels like it is already happening.
Ask for help - coping alone is not really a great idea. Don't hesitate to ask for help because some of your friends may be hesitant about intruding and may want to help but may not know how to help.
Find solace in a hobby - this is the right time to reignite your passion, be it music, art, photography - anything that absorbs your mind. It can be truly therapeutic.
Go through the grieving process - you may be grieving for what you have lost in terms of health, time, work or family time. It is very natural and necessary to give time for this, so that you can move forward past your illness.
Conserve energy - plan your grocery shopping, your children's lunch boxes or your doctor visits well in advance to conserve energy and avoid the last minute stress of running around to organize things. Again, ask your friends or family for help in dealing with your chores.
Reward yourself - everyone needs something to look forward to. So plan small treats for you and your family for every milestone you cross. It could be just going for a drive or watching a movie.
Find an anchor - each of us needs an anchor that we can turn to in times of need. It could be prayer, following certain rituals, spiritual beliefs, talking to someone, or any other activity that makes your load lighter and gives you the impetus to carry on.
Illness does turn your world topsy-turvy, and your sense of well-being and happiness is shaken. But it is important to do something normal to get a feeling of control over your life. Try and accept your illness without allowing it to overpower you and you will slowly get your self-belief back. Life will be different, but you can still get the best out of it.
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